With 2020 done and dusted things were supposed to be different! I am outraged, because they were not. As soon as 2021 started we ended up in lockdown 3.0 in London. And all the magical belief that changing the year will change anything went out the window.

It has been by far the worst of lockdowns for me. The first one had the manic quality of a crisis to it, all jittery and adrenaline fuelled. The second one was right after my miraculous Cyprus holidays, and with the added hope of Christmas coming, so it was still somewhat bearable. But this one had none of the excitement of the first one, or the hope of the second one, just three months of slog and boredom like no other.

I felt completely washed out of energy. Typically the first months of the year are difficult for me, as a sun addict I do not take well to darkness of that period. And if you throw into the mix the endless repetition of working from home and spending every evening with Netflix, the blur of time becomes truly endless.

So I am happy that this quarter is over, I am happy that spring has arrived, despite a really cold day today. I love seeing the magnolias blossom. Hope is finally back. The only thing that bothers me now is: what the hell happened to the first quarter? Are we not still in mid-January? Has nothing really taken place in those three months?

I don’t think I’ll ever recover them into my conscious memory. The time has been banished forever from my mind. But looking at the list of books I read and photos of things I knitted and crocheted it seems there was at least some activity, even if it didn’t register. So here’s what I read and here’s to the hope of spring!

I am behind with writing, reading and reviewing, but I think in the next few weeks I’ll get back on track. And that’s ok. I don’t have to be perfect.

1. Animal: The Autobiography of a Female Body – Sara Pascoe (r)
2. The Orchard on Fire – Shena Mackay (r)
3. My Tender Matador/Tengo Miedo Torero/Drżę o Ciebie Matadorze – Pedro Lemebel (r)
4. Art and Industry: Seven Artists in search of an Industrial Revolution in Britain – David Stacey
5. The Foundling – Stacey Halls (r)
6. The Liar’s Daughter – Claire Allan (r)
7. Midland – James Flint (r)
8. How’s the Pain?/Jak się ma Twój Ból? – Pascal Garnier (r)
9. Twisted – Steve Cavanagh (r)
10. House of Trelawney – Hannah Rothschild (r)
11. Shuggie Bain – Douglas Stuart – DNF (r)
12. Nobody Will Tell You This But Me: A True (as told to me) Story – Bess Kalb (r)
13. Srebrne Skrzydła/Silver Tears – Camilla Läckberg (r)
14. The Gilded Cage – Camilla Läckberg (r)
15. Zero Zahamowań – Michał Rusinek (r)
16. Królestwo – Szczepan Twardoch (r)

Photo by Violetta Kaszubowska